Filling up the tank

It's been a while since i've been on and thrown out a blog worth reading so here is another attempt; hope it works out.
So lately life has been kinda ridiculous. It's just been one of those seasons. I'm not in the zone. So i'm kinda working out how to figure this all out with that being said. I remember when Paul talked at realife about having your train of fact driven by thought with emotion following. It's making more sense everytime this runs around. So whenever you don't feel like you have that emotional connection going with the Big Man it doesn't mean he's deserted you. It's actually an opportunity to prove our allegiance if you will. Although, that is not really the right terminology. cuz whenever we're not on that mountain top and we feel like we're screwing up more and more, we're not really thinking that we are as close to him as we usually are. but we keep coming back cuz of Christs redeeming love. we can't always explain it, but he's always welcoming us back. and that's one thing that i think growing up in our generation has done to us negatively. we have our mission trips and our church camps and our DNOWs and are retreats for this and that. But what do we have inbetween? nada. So whenever we experience that "spiritual high" at camp or on a retreat and we return back to the real world, we're bound to come back to reality sooner or later. and with these events set up like they are i feel we kinda live from event to event sometime and we depend on that particular speaker and that particular worship section to fill us up for the rest of the year or however long we need. we kinda treat our spiritual life like a car, we stop every once in a while and fill up but we end up pushing it to the next stop don't we? i mean really, if we're honest when we reach that valley in our walk we are pushing our car of spirituality, and it is only when we see that gas station looming on that horizon that we begin to try and get the car up and running again. but spirituality is not a car, so we shouldn't treat it like one.
when we get to the valley, not if but when, we have to be prepared to get out of it. and we can't do it, thats the key right there. we have to turn everything that we've been holding onto to God and let him get us out of our mess.
so thats kinda what i'm trying to teach myself again right now. i'm in a rut and only Christ can save me, so i'm turning it all over to him. sure my quiet times and such won't jump up exponentially, but a slow climb will get me out of the valley and back onto steady ground, and God can take it from there too.
hope this made sense
-matt

It only took 6 days

6 days isn't a very long time is it?
no it really isn't. but thats all its taken to wear me down and burn me out in this new year. calculus is just as painful as ever, school is long, and then i just can't sleep til i feel like it anymore. so all in all life is just too hectic right now. but that's kinda what i knew was gunna happen, junior year just royal stinks right now. and i'm talking entirely-school wise. cuz i'm freaking stoked about everything thats going down with LeaderTreks and Costa Rica and Bible Study and stuff such as that. and i'm getting to play bass trombone which is something i've always wanted to do, and i'm going to start learning guitar here soon. so those all seem to be upsides. i'm not getting discouraged cuz i know God's got my back, i'm just worn down to the point where i can't do it anymore it seems. you know the feeling? so we shall see what happens in the following weeks but i'm not the most optimistic person. thanks so much to all my friends for keeping me sane these past day or two. everything's just a bit ridiculous. it doesn't help that i have to start figuring out this SAT junk and trying to decided what my schedule is going to look like next semester, wow...now i just realized i'm totally just venting....this acccomplished nothing productive and i wish i'd find something insightful to put up here....i'll get around to that soonish.
ajdfakhdfajkshfadsjkhfdjkahfd, i'm a mess, but i'm giving God all i can, and thats exactly what he asks for
-matt

The New Year

so today's the new year, i didn't really think about making much of a resolution or anything. but i figured, heck i bet i could go a while without cokes. so i figure it'll be better for me in the long run right? so i guess that's that. my new years resolution is to drink less cokes (soft drinks ie. rootbear, pepsi, dp, sprite, mountain dew.) why? well i'm not really a health nut, but i just figure, why not you know? so thats about it. just letting you know. i don't drink them much anyhow.

in other events, i burnt a hole in my pants last night with some artillary shells, that was pretty funny. i guess i just love blowing stuff up? ah well, all guys do right? if they don't...then they should.

speaking of blowing stuff up and such, when me and my dad were trimming the trees in my backyard today, my dad started taking off this large limb (about 6 inches in diameter) with lots of branches sticking off and such (at least 12 or so ft long). so it started to fall off and landed on our neighbors orange tree...but it was still hanging on by a thin strip of wood...so my dad took the extendable chainsaw (yes, i got to use it too, i love chainsaws) and cut the rest off...and then it fell
and by fall, i mean, right on my fence and there was a extremely loud crack and posts went flying everywhere and my dog freaks out (he's such a chicken) and runs inside... i burst out laughing because at this point i am standing in the neighbors yard throwing branches over and my dad is directly across the fence taking the limb down. it smashes the fence in between us and i am looking through what used to be my fence right at my dad and it was just pretty funny. so my mom runs outside freaking out and is just like "what in the world did you two do..?" and we both just started laughing.

other than that not too much to report. thanks for reading, the three of you who actually do that is. peace
-matt