But He Gives More Grace

First a disclaimer; to all of those in Faithbridge's College Ministry this may seem nothing more than a recapitulation of this evening's message. That aside, my reason for writing this is for my own processing. I find that the most penetrating of all truths are discovered through teaching and sharing those same truths with others. To teach is to teach oneself.

Now to the point. Tonight we turned to James 4 and let the Word have its way with us (Read it here). It really comes to the point in verse 4, in which James simply calls his readers (that is, us) adulterers. The truth is that we as Christians are identified as the Church, the bride of Christ.
As a bride, we repeatedly abuse Our Lover and have affairs with fame, with lust, with acceptance, et cetra. Hosea 2-4 will go as far to call us whores 10 times.

And it's the truth. It makes us uncomfortable to the core of who we are. We have been adoring the created things and have spurned the love of the Creator. When we realize that we begin to dread standing face to face with Our King and having to admit to our unfaithfulness.

Jesus, I have rejected Your love. I choose to seek satisfaction in pleasure. My own desires are more important to me than Your will for my life. The Father looks on us as we play in the mud, and we return to his side with the kisses of the world on our lips. Our appearance is disheveled, and we more often than not have the audacity to approach the throne and lie to our bridegroom.

"Matthew, where are you?", He asks. Cowering in the bushes I devise a scheme to prove my innocence. How painful is it to see my pathetic attempts to fool my Lover. He knows where I have been. He knows I have been unfaithful. He knows that I have openly sought to fulfill my desires in everything but Him.

Yet, I lie.

I lie to myself. I tell myself that my sin isn't a big deal. I tell myself that God isn't overly upset. I tell myself that it doesn't really matter. I lie to God.

But now I am faced with a broken God-man hanging on a cross. A disgusting, marred Jesus who gave everything He could to be with me, and I have rejected Him day after day. I befriend sin and narcissism as my God weeps. I commit adultery in his very presence, whoring myself to idols as I proclaim my commitment to purity of mind, body, and spirit.

I don't know where you find yourself tonight, but I pray you can relate to me. I desperately pray that you would find yourself here. As Christians, we have been forever married to Christ. As his Bride, we play the whore and seek other things to please us. We abuse perfect love.

But He gives more grace.

This is something I don't quite understand in my Spirit, and I don't know if I ever will. God is willing to come to us in our sin and love us. He meets us in our depravity and whispers redemption into our hearts. Our wickedness breaks His heart, but never puts us beyond His love. He yearns to be with us, and mourns in our absence.

How great is the love that the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God.

The world tells me that I can't admit that I am weak. The world tells me not to burden people with my problems. The world is full of lies. I pray that through my honesty You bring people an ability to share in my journey and echo this prayer: Lord, I seek to know the selfishness of my sin. Show me how You hurt when I abandon You. Draw me back to You. Meet with me tonight. I'm desperate.

-matt