Better to Settle?

"Better to settle than risk waiting indefinitely for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect?"

That was the headline I read when I walked into the break room and glanced up at the morning news on TV. I chuckled for a minute assuming that this was just a small bit somebody through together to give people a little pump up message that Mr. Right is out there somewhere, but then I kept listening. What I heard being discussed by the hosts (on a major new channel being streamed across the country) shocked me. They all extolled the decision to just go ahead and "pick somebody decent" and get married as soon as you can. Why wait, they reasoned, when you have no assurance that your soul mate is really out there.

Why wait? Why would it be a bad idea to marry the first person you can find that will agree to marry you? I think what was really at the heart of this discussion was a fundamental misunderstanding of why marriage exists and how it was created to function. Contrary to the American Dream mentality, marriage does not exist so that you can have a souse, two and a half kids, a white picket fence in front of you million dollar house. Marriage isn't even about you. It's not about your spouse. It's about the God who created this union to show a picture of the sacrificial love of Christ and the beauty of the church, being encouraged and empowered to bring forth life to the world around her.

If you're single, marriage is a good thing. The Apostle Paul says it is good for men to be married (1 Cor. 7), and as a married man myself, I agree wholeheartedly! The good fruit that can come from marriage are limitless; spiritual growth, accountability, encouragement, and more. Dating and courting exists, in my eyes, to get to know the person you may consider to marry. Are they marriage material? This doesn't mean you're searching for perfection, rather do you see the fruits of the Spirit in them that will lend that person to loving and respecting you, to growing in Christ-likeness. The love of Christ promotes freedom, and freedom give energy and growth to a healthy marriage.

According to a study last year by the Pew Research Center, less than half of children in the United States live in a household with two parents in their first marriage. More than a third are being raised by a single parent. For those who settle and realize too late that the spouse they picked isn't "right for them" the trend seems to be to break that commitment and try again, no matter who else gets hurt in the process.

So for all who have made it this far, here are some reasons not to settle.

1) Your spouse will become the greatest helper (or hinderer) to your spiritual trajectory.

2) Your future children will be half of your genes... and half of your spouse's.

3) Your spouse will be your best friend for life, not just a few years.

4) Settling brings pain, waiting brings the expectation of joy.

5) God has a good future for you - married or not, He knows best.

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Jesus, I thank you for your never ending loving kindness to me. I thank you for your grace that you willingly extend to us and your faithful friendship that goes beyond all earthly relationships. You are better. You are so much better than any relationship we could desire, because your generosity and your fellowship are better than life. I pray that we would all want more of you today, and whether married or unmarried, we would trust you to guide our paths - knowing that you are a good father that delights in giving your children good things. Amen.

Miracles in the Modern Day

Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. (Matthew 10:8 NKJV)

As I read through a devotional this morning that explicitly stated that this command to the disciples should be ignored by 21st century Christians my heart was confused and I couldn't come to grips with a theology that rebuffed the supernatural. It's early and I'm off to work, so more study will be done, but I believe Gill's commentary has some powerful words that challenge me not to write off sections of scripture because they scare me, worry me, or simply don't make sense.

An excerpt from: Gill's Exposition of the Entire Bible on Matthew 10:8

"Heal the sick,.... For so he had given them power to do, and this both for the confirmation of their doctrine, and the recommendation of them to men; for nothing could more evidently prove their mission to be divine, and their doctrine from heaven, or be more acceptable to men, than to "heal" their "sick" friends and relations, who were given up by physicians, and incurable by the art of man; and to do this without the use of medicines, either by a word speaking, or by laying on of their hands, or by anointing with oil, joined with prayer; and particularly to cleanse the lepers, of which there were many in Israel, who otherwise could not get rid of that disorder, and by the law were deprived of many privileges, and advantages, which others enjoyed: and especially to raise the dead, which had never been done before the times of Christ, since the days of Elijah and Elisha; and which must be allowed by all men to be more than human, and to require the arm of almighty power: and lastly, to cast out devils, the sworn enemies of mankind, and who had taken possession of the bodies, as well as souls of multitudes in the Jewish nation; all which they are ordered to do, without taking any thing of the people..."

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Jesus, I have so much to learn and am not a theologian by any stretch. All I desire is to know you deeper and walk in step with your Spirit. You are a God of miracles and are not limited by what our minds can understand. You don't fit in a box and you never will. Today, strengthen my heart and challenge me to boldly declare your Gospel that moves mountains and stills raging seas just to give evidence to your supernatural love that will stop at nothing to capture our hearts. Amen. 

The Law

This morning Jesus peaked my curiosity while reading through his extensive teaching on the law in Matthew 5:17-48. Jesus describes himself as the fulfillment of the law (v17). In doing this He is the completion of what the Israelites have been awaiting for centuries. He doesn't stop there, but begins to correct the false interpretations of the Law that have been passed down by the Pharisees. I think this is valuable because this teaching establishes Jesus' authority. As the Son of God, who better than He to explain the heart behind the Law's instruction?

The Lord discusses anger, lust, divorce, oaths, retaliation, and loving your enemies as he systematically takes the people's understanding of the Law and emphasizes the harshness of sin with phrases such as warning the angry that they will be "put in prison", the one who lusts that he or she should "cut off" any member that leads to sin.

You see, the Pharisee's had made the Law into a way of life, almost like a game to which they were able to tweak the rules in ways that best suited them. Christ's response was tantamount to declaring that they will never be able to fulfill they entirety of the Law - and in their attempts they would only achieve destruction, pain, and brokenness.

Paul writes in Galatians:

 “We who are Jews by birth and not sinful Gentiles know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified. 2:15-16 (italics added)

I know it is easy in our society to mock the Pharisee's as legalistic and to tout our freedom from the law. But there are two parts two this verse in Galatians that I find powerful. First, the law does not justify our relationship with God. Rigid obedience will not earn us passage into the Kingdom of Heaven, and God does not take pleasure in begrudging rule followers who focus their efforts on not-sinning rather than living in freedom for the sake of the Gospel. Secondly, our justification is towards faith, not in spite of faith. Faith gives fruit in its actions. Yes, the same Law that we have been set free from also gives us guidance to what a Godly life looks like. It instructs us to love, forgive, rejoice, mourn, plea, hope, and pray. We do this not out of a desire to follow a set of rules, but to draw nearer to our Father who loves us.

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Father, I repent of any ill-purposed motives in my heart that seek to give obedience to the law out of fear or obligations. I rejoice in a joyful obedience to your scriptures because you have set me free from a law that I could never appease and placed me under the law of liberty (James 1:25). Continue to pour your Spirit into me so that I would always grow closer and closer to you and that I would walk in step with your Spirit. Draw me to worship and strip me of insecurity and pride. I need your grace. I cannot and do not wish to strive after the wind and fall short of the Law. I choose to stand on the grace of God and use that sure-footing as a path forward into righteous obedience through your power. Amen.